Post some jokes guys!!!

What did the elephant to a naked man?
- How can you breath through a tube so small?

They are playing soccer team against the team Elephants
of the worms. Ten minutes from time the elephants are winning by 50-0.
Suddenly a change announced by the team of worms and get the one hundred
feet. When there were five minutes left the scores a goal centipedes
after another and end of the game are 50-75. The captain of the Elephants
comes close to that of worms and asks:
- That wonder of player! Why can not you get it before?
- I was just finishing tying his boots.

You know that elephants paint their feet yellow?
- To hide inside the jars of mustard.
- Have you ever seen an elephant in a jar of mustard?
- No,
- See how it works?

How would I know if an elephant in your fridge?
- By the footprints in the butter.
- How would I know if there are two elephants in your fridge?
- Because there are two tracks in the butter.
- How would I know if there are three elephants in your fridge?
- Because you can not close it.
- How would I know if there are four elephants in your fridge?
- For the hundred is parked outside.
(You know that "how would put four elephants in a hundred"
"Two front and two behind)
- Why are there so many elephants in the jungle?
- Because not all fit in your refrigerator.

Two old men sitting in a park:
- Well, I started to hurt his right leg.
- That is of age.
- You say, the left has the same years and does not hurt ...

The year is 365 days, 24 hours, of which 12 are dedicated
at night and make a total of 182 days. Therefore, there are only 183 days
skillful, less 52 Sundays, there are 131 days; least 52 Saturdays, there are a total
79 working days, but there are four daily hours for meals,
adding up to 60 days, which means you have 19 days dedicated to
work. But as you enjoy 15 days of vacation, you only have four
working days, less about three days of leave you
used by being sick or to run errands, just left one day
to work, but that day is precisely the "Labor Day" (First
May) that is a holiday and therefore not working.

A day in the last dinner
one had to find one of the fruit to put it in the ass
They all had easy thing bananas etc.
So They see the window
oh, look adam brings a pineapple

THE TEN COMMANDMENTS OF A VAGUE:
1 - You are born and live weary to rest
2 - Love your bed as yourself
3 - If you see someone break, help
4 - Rest of day to be able to sleep at night.
5 - Work is holy, do not touch!
6 - What we can do tomorrow, do not do today.
7 - Work as little as you can, what you have to do, to do
another.
8 - Calm down, no one died 'for rest.
9 - When you feel the desire to work, sit down and hoped that
you pass.
10 - If work is health, working patients

nice jokes see https://2img.net/r/ihimizer/i/rofl2ok2.jpg/

A 65-year-old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk.

The Receptionist said, 'Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?'

'There's something wrong with my dick', he replied.

The receptionist became irritated and said, 'You shouldn't come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that. '

'Why not, you asked me what was wrong and I told you,' he said.

The Receptionist replied; 'Now you've caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and discussed the problem further with the Doctor in private.'

The man replied, 'You shouldn't ask people questions in a roomful of strangers, if the answer could embarrass anyone. The man walked out, waited several minutes, and then re-entered.

The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, 'Yes??'

'There's something wrong with my ear,' he stated.

The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice.. 'And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?'

'I can't piss out of it,' he replied.

The waiting room erupted in laughter...


Mess with seniors and you're going to Lose

What is the heigth of the demon
That take A+ in religion
[b]

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really pissed.

She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"

The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Bob has been missing since Friday.

3 guys walk into a bar...









Ouch!

There were 3 ppl. A black guy, chinese guy, and white guy.

They all have to jump off a cliff and say something that they land in.

The white guy jumps off and says "Money", he lands in a pile of money.

The chinese jumps off and says "eggroll", he lands in an eggroll.

The black guys jumps off and hits his toe on a rock and says "shit!", he lands in a pile of shit.

LMFAO!